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By knowing what types of mistakes can lead to boredom in a relationshipyou and your partner will be better equipped to keep things fresh and fun — even if every single day can't and won't be the most thrilling.
Dana is a busy mom of two boys, author and co-founder of the Surprise Date Challenge. Read full profile. Esther Perel says that we need two things in relationships: stability — knowing your partner has your back, and desire. Unfortunately, stability kills desire. Conversely, what creates desire?
Why your relationship has become boring (and how to fix it)
In the beginning of a relationship, we have plenty of risk. Is this the one? Are you wasting your time? There is the thrill of the chase in the beginning stages of romance. Love conquers all. This new love high usually lasts 1to 2 years and then we settle in and become comfortable in the stability of the relationship. We have a home to take care of and bills to pay.
We may not always agree on things which can cause additional stress and strain on the relationship too. We work hard to find the one. The person who completes us, then what? We live happily ever after in a blissful state of union of course. Most of us were never taught how to maintain a relationship nor did we have great role models to show how to keep the romance and passion alive. In the beginning of a relationship, many times we put forth so much effort to woo our potential partner; planning activities, experiences and even surprises for one another.
We go to dinner and talk for hours because we have so much to share and learn about one another. We have engaging conversations about everything, inhaling and soaking in the essence of one another.
Am i just bored or should we break up?
Then life happens. We settle into our daily life and routines, maybe throw in a couple of kids and the busyness of life allows us to easily put our most important relationship on the back burner. Date nights are now relegated to dinner and a movie if we make it out of the house at all.
When the word date or dating is mentioned, most people conjure up images of single people who are dating and looking for that special someone. Rarely do we as a society think beyond to the fact that we should never stop dating our spouse or long-term partner. The reason many relationships become routine and boring is that couples stop dating each other. Giving your relationship scraps of time can lead to its demise. The estimated time when the happiness of a couple diminishes.
Every couple is different and it really boils down to how exciting you keep your relationship. If you quickly get into a relationship rut of doing the same boring things, you will become bored with your relationship more quickly. However, if you are committed to avoid falling into this routine and are intentional about keeping the desire alive in your relationship, you can avoid becoming bored for the most part.
Relationships do have ebbs and flows and of course, there are times your relationship will be more interesting. The problem arises when your relationship becomes stale for long periods of time. In most relationship studies, romantic love dwindles over time and we lose the butterflies we once had in the beginning. In a relationship study conducted by Dr. Arthur Aron at the University of New York at Stony Brook, it was determined that novelty or trying new things can create the chemical surges of courtship and can ificantly increase the satisfaction in relationship when practiced consistently.
Life can be messy and even great relationships can become stale and boring at times; this is absolutely normal. Plan a date of course!
What to do when a long-distance relationship gets boring?
In fact, I recommend this to my clients. Commit to plan one surprise date for your partner every month and have them plan one surprise date for you each month. Preferably an interactive or doing date. When is the last time you really had a great conversation? When you share a novel experiencethis gives you something new to talk about after your date. This is the secret sauce of the surprise date. No shooting down your date ideas.
Just the addition of novelty and doing something different together to increase connection and romance.
Once a month, you get to give the gift of adventure and surprise and once a month, you get to sit back, relax and enjoy the date. There are numerous free date ideas. Some of my favorites are building a tent over your bed, a scavenger hunt, or dance lessons using free YouTube videos. While relationships take effort, they are so rewarding when you are in a good one.
Innovation in relationship is the key to avoiding boredom, and ensuring that you have a relationship that will go the distance and last a lifetime.
Create the relationship of your dreams by being intentional about adding novelty and surprise through interactive date nights. Featured photo credit: Vince Fleming via unsplash. Eugene is Lifehack's Entrepreneurship Expert. He is the co-founder and creative lead of HighSpark, offering presentation training for companies. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step.
A familiar thump echoes throughout your body — your heartbeat has gone off the charts. Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside. Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves.
Relationship boredom: why it happens & how to fix it
Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:. The audience will notice you are nervous.
If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.
Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time: Advertising. Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out. A sip of water will do the trick. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.
10 s you’re stuck in a boring relationship
Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength. Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.
Do I look funny? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose — contributing something of value to your audience. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.
This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart. There are two sides constantly battling inside of us — one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed? What if I forget what to say? All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves.