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  • Years:
  • 33
  • Iris tone:
  • I’ve got lustrous dark eyes but I use colored contact lenses
  • I can speak:
  • English, Japanese
  • Favourite music:
  • Opera
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  • Yoga
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HI ALT. I've met lots of guys here I'm female and found them great sites.


Hurting others is not nor, will ever be love. There's nothing decent or, acceptable about it. Except to you few who find it so, to feed your dark desires.


If you do this because of past experiences like, abuse, rape, etc. If this is just 'who you are', you need to examine what brought you to this point. And, stop trying to blame others that do not want to become involved in your darkness. My first thought was to delete that comment, since this is a forum for kinky people and those who love them, not a venue to clarify BDSM to those who misunderstand it.

However, I will make one attempt to do the latter; this will be the last word on the matter here. Pain is often assumed to entail suffering as the two are often paired. Suffering is a state of being, created by, to oversimplify the matter, consciousness.

There are many kinds of pain that people embrace without criticism: SM play belongs among these. It is done with the intent to create bonding and growth, not suffering. After trying this exercise every day for a week, ask yourself whether a consensual activity which the participants find rewarding can possibly be considered less reasonable than motor racing or mountaineering. I am a married woman. I love my husband very much. He fell ill earlier this year and things haven't been the same. I was recently kinda asked if i wanted to be a sub to someone who I've known for several years.

At the same time, I do not find that threshold of pain to be a turn on, and your article and these comments make me feel like perhaps we should potentially end our relationship if I'm identifying as 'only' sexually adventurous. You really have to be careful in going into this, See http: I know a few people that could benefit from reading your blog. So always remember to be yourself and you will be able to make a great Dom sub dating site dating profile and dating sites for subs a successful bdsm experience.

I felt sad because my idea of our future was nothing like I had invision.

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With what he's been saying, I can't tell if he wants to be a sub, or just fantasises about being fucked by a guy??? Punk Dating Forgotten Password?

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Anything if it means understanding things better than I think I. Regarding your lack of sexual experience, Dating sites for subs think it's unlikely that your fantasies are leading you in the wrong direction. Hello Read all your posts today. We don't talk all the time but we are having fun. I just found out that he is into this sorta thing. And after talking about it i kinda agreed to be his sub. I trust him, but at the same time i have concerns. It's a bit scary. I've never done this before.

I have a strong feeling he will meet the needs that i have. Not sure what my question is.

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Just looking for advice. Your post is quite an eye opener for me, and thank you for that. Maybe someone can give me some advice on this topic: My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 7 months, and I have to say we are perfect match. In a nutshell my question is if I were to stay open minded and willing to be adventurous is there anyway this can be another quality I'll enjoy about him? Dear married woman, your first responsibility is to protect your relationship with your children, and you should also be concerned with your would-be dom's future with his fiance.

There are other ferocious fish in the sea! I don't think it's unreasonable to seek kink outside of your marriage if your partner is unable to participate, although it's certainly preferable if he can endorse that decision, and if new liaisons can give you positive energy that you bring home assuming you plan to stay married.

Dear mila, lots of folks are first introduced to kink by a partner, so it's very possible you'll enjoy aspects of BDSM — there's quite a menu of dark delights to choose from! Note that ramping up the intensity slowly, as your trust builds, is crucial.

However if your boyfriend is inclined to something more all-encompassing, and you realize you're not, that could be an issue. I am lost and confused right now. I have a very dominant personality, I go between Domme and sub throughout the course of the day. I was in a relationship with a man who turned out to be vanilla and abusive. The Dom in me tried to take control of the situation, expose him to kink and channel his abusive nature into the controlled abuse I wanted.

I feel crazy for trying to do that. With more and more dating being done thorough apps and websites, Users also must denote themselves as a dom or a sub, and can define. I felt safe in his arms after a fight, but the dynamic of the fight was unhealthy I know. I divorced him but keep feeling drawn to him. The worst part is that we have two Dom sub dating site together.

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I know it is horrible and he is a deadbeat but i crave that emotional masochism. I mis the after care. As you've discovered, abusive behaviors, although controlling and cruel, are not the same as dominant or sexually sadistic ones.

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Emotional SM is perhaps less common than the physical sort, but plenty of kinksters are aroused by activities that cause humiliation, fear, or other taxing mental states. Many masochists thrive on treatment that they dislike intensely in the moment, but which propels them into a bonding euphoria afterwards.

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BDSM discussion forums Fetlife has good ones might be a helpful resource for you. At the ripe old age of 55 I still feel so naive about sexuality. I am a submissive man who first felt passionate about being dominated at age 14 reading an article on the subject in a man's mag.

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The feeling that rushed through me was both powerful and frightening; there was no-one to talk to about it back then. All my life I have had difficulties with relationships, not helped by being Asberger's, and although I am far from looking like Elephant Man I am not exactly tall, dark nor handsome either.

Some women have been kind enough to point this out to me. I think what I am asking if anyone might be able to help with is this: Believe it or not I find it hard to discern whether there is ever any truth in the writing I see online and elsewhere claiming to be in these sorts of relationships.

It appears the only ones who do it are professionals. Surely there must be some real ones! I have looked at some BDSM 'dating' sites but find myself naturally suspicious especially when are coupled with the type of tarty photos one used to see in contact magazines. Thank heavens these matters are a little more out in the open now, but I would love to try to sensibly find someone before it really is too late for me.

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I would sincerely appreciate any help. I am in the UK by the way. Dear Paul, apologies for the slow response. There are indeed women who enjoy dominating or topping their male partners during sex, and there are some who enjoy doing so in the rest of the romance as well. Sadly, there seem to be many more men with masochistic interests than women with sadistic inclinations.

That's why most of the dommes you come across are professionals profiting from the unmet demand. Some of those pros are very good by the way, although many won't help you "finish" as within many jurisdictions that crosses into the realm of prostitution.

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However, if you could imagine returning the favor, women who switch, or alternate between roles, are more common than female tops. Many women find men your age more appealing than younger guys; after all men tend to achieve emotional maturity later. It does help to be trim and fit; fortunately there are many ways to attain that besides jogging for miles.

Fetlife might be a good place to find kinky friends and possible partners near you; it's pretty popular in the UK. I am very grateful to have found this post. What I am currently struggling with is that, after a life of kinky submissive fantasies which began in pre-adolescence and trying to incorporate kink into vanilla relationships, I recently six months ago began dating a man who, it turned out, was lifelong into the lifestyle, though he was on a break from it.

He was also poly. I am monogamous, so when we started dating, he agreed to be monogamous. We played frequently at the beginning, usually not super-intensely, but often, and then that, along with any kind of sex, ceased after a few months. He has many reasons that he has explained to me for wanting this, but he has decided he does not want to be involved in BDSM in any capacity.

Part, but not by any means all, of this is that, for him, BDSM does not exist outside of being poly, and therefore cannot be a part of our monogamous relationship. According to him, my fixation on BDSM is misguided, and I shouldn't regard myself as missing out on anything by not having it as a part of our relationship, and am an idiot if I sacrifice our relationship in pursuit of a kinky partner who Dom sub dating site never come along - and believe me, in my geographical area, finding ANY single man is almost impossible, let alone a kinky one. So, long story short, I am in the position of asking myself, do I sacrifice a relationship that is not sexually fulfilling, but completely wonderful in every other way, for something else that I might never find?

Am I placing too much importance on sex? My attraction to BDSM, however, is deeper than sex per se.

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All these websites are visited at night when my dad likes to shut the door and work in his room. I click on one of them and my dad has a profile. And this isn't dating. Its more of a casual sex website.

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