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Gender is social and cultural. For most people, their gender matches up with the cultural expectations of the sex they were ased at birth. Others may self-identify as being transgender, agender, Two-Spirit, gender queer, non-binary, gender fluid or any of terms explained below. Gender identity may be the same as the sex you were ased at birth cisgender or not transgender.


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What is agender? I have long waist-length hair, I have feminine features, and my voice is softer and higher pitched. To the outside world, I am a woman. But what is agender? I was raised in an authoritarian religious household with traditional views. We were taught that God made humans exclusively male and female.

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I was taught that anyone who was transgender, non-binary or otherwise gender-nonconforming was confused and psychologically traumatised, and needed therapy. Along with these assumptions came expectations of strict gender roles: the man was the head of the household, and the women were to submit to him.

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Women were to be the caretakers and the mothers, whilst the father was supposed to be the breadwinner. I was instead taught how to iron clothes.

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I wanted to be an actual boy. I still wore my frayed jeans and t-shirts with hoodies. However, there were some changes that I could make.

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I started wearing my long hair beneath a red baseball hat. I gave myself a new name — Matthew.

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I tried to make my voice deeper, and got annoyed when my face still looked feminine in the mirror and my voice never sounded male. I went to an all-girls high school, which on reflection was possibly the worst school I could have attended. I had absolutely no comprehension of this strange new environment of makeup, crushes on boys, jewellery and perfume. I was socially inept enough to escape the realisation that I was being bullied, and none of my interests lined up with the rest of my classmates.

I insisted on wearing trousers to school, which immediately marked me out to everyone as different.

Gender, gender identity, and gender expression

She even resorted to hiding my school trousers in order to force me to go to school in a skirt. More often than not, I spent the whole day feeling so uncomfortable and self-conscious that I wished that the ground would open and swallow me whole. But I was a girl.

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I had to get used to it. Find out more about non-binary identities. I was just me. Over many videogames, we talked about gender, politics, and movies, and we got to know each other. Over time, another non-binary friend ed our group.

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I felt an immediate connection with them too: we liked the same music, we both were wondering if we had ADHD, and we were both asexual. In fact, I was agender. And the more I thought about it, the more I wondered whether this could actually explain everything. We live in a world that at best misunderstands us and at worst despises us. Almost every non-cis person I know struggles with imposter syndrome. We doubt ourselves, and we compare ourselves to others.

Even writing this article is difficult. With every word I type, I can hear my father in the back of my head insisting that I am a mentally ill, traumatised, confused .

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Beyond tolerance, trans and gender-nonconforming people and agender people need acceptance and love. Beyond recognition, we need representation.

It is absolutely vital for those who are struggling to find their place in the world. To date, there are almost no openly non-binary characters in media. Transgender people also suffer this lack of representation, with trans narratives few and far between. Discrimination against trans and non-binary people is lawful in many states. If you have any questions about being agender, please feel free to DM me there.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash. Very enlightening article. I hope this gets spread around for any youth or otherwise who are in need for some answers regarding their identity. Best of luck for you in the future! I read this and now, more than ever, I feel like I am Agender. Thank you for sharing. Tweets by GenderGP. Our Help Centre. One day I stumbled Am i agender an inclusive roleplaying game community online, focused around games such as Dungeons and Dragons and Vampire the Masquerade.

Robert Palmer on 3rd May at pm. Pengu on 2nd June at am. Hannah on 21st June at am. Nessie on 1st July at pm. Welcome to the Agender gang friend!

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Jade on 19th August at am. Kai on 14th June at pm. Looking for something?

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Search for:. Twitter Tweets by GenderGP. our mailing list How do you identify?

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Agender people often do not feel a desire to perform within gender roles, as they often feel they exist outside of them.


The University of Rhode Island.


The earliest features of gender incongruence may start to become apparent around this age.


But I might technically not identify as anything.